Updated: Dec 8, 2020
What if someone doesn’t like what I have to say?
Ready for this week’s reality check? There is at least one person out there that will undoubtedly not like or be interested in what you have to say.
For a large part of my life, I was a people pleaser. I was very often concerned with what others thought of me and my actions. Before I made a decision, I carefully weighed out how it would affect others and their thoughts of me.
As a child, this came in handy because, for the most part, I stayed out of trouble. As an adult, not so much. The need to be liked and the desire for approval stopped me from taking chances on myself and following my inner passions.
In the social media world, I have been met with unfollowers on Instagram and anticipate having unsubscribers on my blog at some point. In real life, I’ve had friends drift away, and countless conversations with people disinterested in who I was or what I had to offer. There came the point of revelation for me, and it hit like a ton of bricks; people are out here living their lives for them, why am I not living mine for me?
Letting go of the people-pleasing attitude is not easy. Here are a few things to help.
Photography // Ali Folster
Question Why You Need To Be Liked By Everyone
Okay. We all know the first step is admitting that you have a problem. Maybe you’re saying, “I don’t need everyone to like me,” but you quickly become upset when someone says they don’t, or you pout when your message is not well-received. Anytime that you have those feelings, question it. Spend some time getting to the root of why those feelings are coming up for you.
Develop A Better Relationship With Yourself
The less you become focused on pleasing others, the stronger your relationship grows with yourself. Spend some time getting to know you. What are your likes? What excites you? What are your hard no’s? Nourishing the relationship with yourself builds your confidence, which, in turn, helps you to shed the weight of people-pleasing.
Being Disliked Can Be A Good Thing
Pleasing everyone means that you are pleasing no one. Being disliked is just an indicator that you have an opinion and are not afraid to express it. Being comfortable in your beliefs and willing to share them with the world will inevitably bring you push-back. Repelling those that are not for you, helps to attract those that are.
The fact is, we are not going to be well received by everyone. We weren’t meant to be. We were, however, all created for a purpose. And there is someone out there whose life will be impacted by what you have to say or what you are creating. Wouldn’t it be a shame if you didn’t show up and share your magic with the world because of the fear of rejection?
Now, we can all use a little accountability. So this is not a pass to be rude, insensitive or disrespectful to others. But, be bold about your words, your ideas, and your dreams.